Sunday, 25 March 2012

Fringe France diary 3

Fear is a funny thing. It can be all consuming when it is possible to let all be consumed, but when you find yourself in the position of having a certain amount of yourself held back and tethered to another person, that portion seems unafraid. I'll give you an example. Remember that girl with the month in France? That's me. All i had was a postcode, a rented car and a key. The key by the way was only recieved by post on the morning of my flight. After a 4 hour journey through the depths of reasonably northern France my travelling partner and I eventually arrived at the door. A mile outside the nearest village (a village that contained only a tabac and a newsagent - both of which were shut) was the farmhouse. I should mention that my companion was a great laugh, good copilot, but totally terrified of anything that flew, and allergic to wasps. This is fine in my flat in Glasgow with a bottle of wine and heart fm on full blast, but not so much when a house that has been empty for four years must be opened and cleaned. In a situation where I had been the more afraid, or for example R had been there, and could then become the provider and nest builder, I would have stayed in the car. R was not there. I was the one not staying in the car. Normally I would have been a bit of a mess in this situation. The house could have been haunted up to it's ears (the thought of ghosts terrify me) and rats could easily have made a lovely home for themselves. Doors were closed and had to be peered behind and the place was full full full of cobwebs, each with hundreds of bluebottles trapped. But what could I do? Was I going to turn back around and book a flight home? I certainly couldn't afford to pay for a hotel for a month, and I had a month to fill. We stocked up on rubber gloves and cleaning supplies and in I went. The rest is history but here I am drinking mint tea in the garden with a huge love developing for this house. Fear can really mess things up, but when needs must, a way is found. Whether this may be in business, after a flood, in an old French farm house or day to day life.

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